Obvious douchebags that everyone knows!

Just thought that I could take the time to spotlight some people that everyone just loves to hate because they were just born douchebags and can't help themselves. they've got the virus.

Douche 1: Justin Bieber

How dare that crazy 10 year old Canadian girl! She just makes awkward videos of her on youtube and some how blackmails Usher into letting her attempt to dance and make a cd. and the way she gives tweens drugs before cd signing to make them go crazy. what a douche!

Douche 2: Miley Cyrus

First off her dad has a mullet. that's the douche's hairstyle of choice. and even though she is talentless, ditched Disney to pole dance, and has big ol' beaver teeth, she thinks that just because Radiohead wouldn't talk to her she can RUIN them. what a douche! Radiohead actually makes music and their fans aren't lame. When will the world come to their senses and see that she doesn't make music!?

Douche 3: Airports

I hate airports. They are always like that annoying kid in your PoliSci class: big, confusing, and just rude. there really is no reason for them to be that big and have overpriced shops. I hate SkyMall.

Douche 4: The Sarcastic Waiter

Everyone has experienced at least one in their lifetime. It's always that waiter who hates his job so he feels the need to make your meal unpleasant. he's that guy that when you say 'everything but tomatoes' he says 'thats not everything then.'  don't be douche. just give me my quesadilla.

Douche 5: Tiger Woods

He just defines douche.

Douche 6: People with Bluetooth

Really?! Why tease me that you're talking to me when you're talking to someone else!? You just look like you're talking to yourself.

The "No Offense" people

So don't you just hate it when someone who you already can hardly stand just pushes it over the edge by starting a sentence with "No offense but..."

Ex:

"no offense but those pants make your butt look big."

"no offense Taylor Swift but a monkey makes better music than you do and they play with their own poo."

"no offense but you shouldn't leave the house in that shirt. or at all for that matter.'

What do you mean no offense?! By saying "No offense" it actually has the opposite effect! I am going to take a lot of offense! because apparently you aren't man enough to say what you really feel. either way you are a douche. good job. mom must be so proud.

Cynics posing as Realist

So one of the most annoying type of douchebags are the kind who not only think that they know everything in the universe but they also have such a dim and sucky view of the world. They always put down your hopes and dreams, hate kittens, and try to protect you from the manbearpig.

They are the people who go around saying "I am real" or "i'm sorry but thats the truth!" they are the people that you just to punch in the face.